太太與幾位好友組了個讀書會。大家定期聚在一起選書，看書並討論。年終，把每個人的讀書心得收集起來，裝定成冊。我為她們2002年那冊寫了個序言。以下就是那篇序言。
Foreword
A famous anthropologist, Abraham Maslow (1908-70),
categorized the Hierarchy of Human Needs as the following:
Physiological (e.g. I am not blind or deaf. I am not
crippled. I am not starving.)
Safety (e.g. I am not afraid of becoming the food of a lion.
I have a roof above me to hide from the rain and snow.)
Belongingness (e.g. I have a home. I have a bank account.)
Esteem (e.g. I can
read and write. I am a model citizen. I even donate my time and money for those
less fortunate. I am proud of myself.)
Self-actuation (i.e. realizing to the fullest possible
extent the creative potential present within the individual. I want to pursue a
purpose beyond my basic needs. I want to be all I can be. I want to make me
happy.)
I have the pleasure of knowing many women who out perform me
at schools and at work. I have great appreciation for many women who are great
wives and mothers. Somewhere in between, I wonder what happened to so many well-educated
and intelligent women who dedicated their lives to their children, husbands and
husband’s careers and work. What do they feel deep in their hearts when it’s
snowing outside and they are alone sitting in a comfortable sofa by the
fireplace. They did well in school. They enjoy art and literatures before they
got married. They had dreams before they got married. Now they are married and
in charge of a home. When they meet they talk about children, gardening,
cooking, and crafts. When asked a question they watch their husbands’ response
before expressing their opinions. All because they want to make a better home
for their family and be known as a good wife and a good mother, thereby a good
woman.
A decade or so into such unselfish dedication, husbands have
good careers and successful businesses, children are grown and no longer depend
on them, and they themselves are now financially secure and live in an affluent
sub-urban neighborhood. They know they are successful by all standard social
measures. Then when they meet, some would wonder aloud “What have I accomplished
as a person. Yes, I have a good family and many people would envy me. But, what
have I, as a person, accomplished. Am I happy? What would it be had I pursued
my own dreams instead of my husband’s?”
Because of Angela’s unselfish dedication, I had numerous opportunities
participating in numerous intellectually satisfying conversations with people
from different disciplines in graduate school the same way James Watson (a
biologist) and Francis Crick (a physicist) met and argued and sparked the
discovery of DNA. Angela has always
admired the atmosphere in the cafes and taverns of the19th century Paris, where
Van Gough, Gauguin, and Cézanne rubbed shoulders and argued and influenced one
another’s art. I feel her marrying me robbed her of the opportunity of immersing
in an atmosphere where people of different perspectives, opinions talk with one
another with no specific end goal, but with great zest and freedom in
expressing their views. I was very happy that early in year 2002, Angela and a
few of her close friends decided to take actions to create such an atmosphere
for themselves--they formed the Tsai-Bor Book Study Club.
They chose the books, read them, and expressed their
opinions. They gained the confidence of valuing and expressing their own
opinions, instead of waiting for their husbands’ opinions or worrying what
others may think of them. They took the initiative of volunteering their
husbands to give seminars on various topics. They, each and every one of them,
wrote their views on the books they had read and discussed. Their 1st book debuted
in 2002. They are publishing their 2nd
book for 2003. Knowing how busy they all
are, I am terribly impressed by their resolve—individually as well as
collectively.
I saw a few ladies scrambling to submit their writings on
the eves of departing for Taiwan. I saw Angela working days and nights writing
hers. One wise man said, “The sense of joy came from adrenaline and the vigor
of purpose.” I remember myself burning midnight oil trying to wrap up a project
and feeling happy about it. I believe the ladies enjoy themselves ramping up
their adrenaline, stealing time to read the books, participating in the
discussions, agonizing over what to write, and making their 2nd book a finished
product. I believe they are happy because they took upon themselves in
realizing their self-actuation. I believe they are happy ramping up adrenaline
to pursue the purpose despite a few burnt meals and sleepless nights. I am
happy to see happy people; especially one of them is my dear wife.
Angela asked me to write a few words for their 2nd book.
Here are my words to you ladies of the Tsai-Bor Club:
You ladies have my admiration—to take the initiative to form
the club cost nothing but courage, to have the dedication of pulling it off and
persist for multiple years is admirable, but all in all, to take actions of
fulfilling your Self-actuation is simply priceless. I tip my hat to you all.
Martial artists like to say, “Regardless of the destination,
the journey there is a reward by itself.” They say this to emphasize that it’s
not how skillful you can become, but rather to get the benefit and joy in the
sweat and grind of practicing martial arts. I see you ladies sweating and
grinding for your books and turning the clock back to your 20-something days.
The charm that is inherent in young, bright-eyed, and intellectually curious
young maidens. The time is over for me to hold hands with 20-something young
maidens, but I am getting a 20-something young-in-heart lady in return. Life is
good for me.
While making your 2002 book, Angela chose a color from the
rainbow for the cover; I think it was to reflect the mood of putting a little “color”
into her life. I wish you ladies the best in putting the 2nd color in your
club. I wish you the best in successfully putting the whole spectrum of the
colors in a rainbow in your club and your life. It’s not the size of the books,
but rather the grind of putting them together that is priceless. Secretly, I am
hoping that I’ll be invited to the colorful celebration party at the end of the
rainbow that is the completion of your 7th book.
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